Domestic Violence: Signs of Verbal Abuse

According to WebMD, Verbal abuse, also understood as emotional abuse, is a scope of words or demeanors used to control, threaten, and hold power and control over somebody.

These include insults, embarrassment and insult, the silent treatment, and attempts to intimidate, isolate, and control.

Emotional and verbal abuse also includes violence that isn’t directed particularly at individuals but is used to intimidate them, like criticizing, slamming doors, hurling something, ruining belongings, or hurting pets.

These behaviors are as severe as different forms of abuse and may damage self-worth and well-being. Every relationship is different, and signs of emotional and verbal abuse may not be apparent at the beginning of a relationship. Verbally abusive individuals usually appear to be perfect partners, and behaviors may arise gradually or start unexpectedly.

It may be hard to recognize abuse if you’re not physically harmed, but emotional and verbal abuse may be a warning that bodily abuse will ensue.

Signs of Verbal Abuse

Emotional and verbal abuse can take numerous forms and can come from partners, caregivers, coworkers, parents, friends, and others. If it’s occurring to you, it’s necessary to realize it’s not your fault.

Typical signs of emotional and verbal abuse may include:

Isolation and Control

Keeping you from contacting or being around others is one way to exert control. Some examples include:

  • Stopping you from seeing friends and family
  • Attempting to prevent you from going to work or school
  • Controlling who you spend your time with
  • Being jealous of other relationships
  • Monitoring your messages
  • Tracking your phone or automobile
  • Demanding passwords to your phone, email, or social media platforms
  • Controlling your money
  • Taking or hiding your keys and wallet or purse
  • Controlling what you eat and the clothing you wear
  • Preventing you from seeing a physician

Humiliation, Threatening, and Intimidation

Cruelty can create fear, anxiety,  and intimidation, which permits an abuser to hold power and control. Some examples include:

  • Belittling or humiliating you, specifically in the presence of others
  • Name-calling or continually criticizing
  • Threatening to leave you
  • Threatening to take your kids or pets
  • Threatening to hurt your kid
  • Hurting a pet in front of you to discipline you
  • Slamming doors or hitting walls to scare you
  • Damaging your belongings
  • Driving erratically to intimidate you or force obedience
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Emotional Manipulation

Emotionally abusive people create chaos. An abuser may:

  • Accuse you of infidelity
  • Blame you for the reason they are cheating
  • Blame you for their harsh and abusive behavior
  • Use your fears and beliefs against you to control you or the situation
  • Give you the silent treatment
  • Always argue
  • Make illogical and contradictory statements
  • Have impulsive outbursts and drastic mindsets

Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a kind of manipulation that causes you question your sanity, judgments, and memory. You may start to doubt yourself and feel as if you’re losing your sanity.

An abuser may:

  • May say you said or did something you didn’t
  • Deny an event occurred
  • Question your recollection of facts and events
  • Pretend not to understand you or refuse to hear to you
  • Deny their earlier promises and what they said to you

Make a plan of action

If you are in immediate danger, please call 911.

If you aren’t in immediate danger, reach out to a friend, therapist, abuse shelter, or domestic violence hotline.

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

Crisis Text Line: Text 741741 in the U.S. and Canada

Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-4-A-Child or 1-800-422-4453

Anita Johnson-Brown updated this article.

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