57° and Sunny
My God Knows
me, I am a mystery to man, by Anita Johnson-Brown 10/5/2021 (all rights reserved)
SONG OF LIFE
Dear
God, my suffering lingers, it is as if time has passed me by, I yearn for knowledge
and understanding. I’m forced to acknowledge those that cause me grief, they
enter my life and prey on me, damaging me with their misery. I’m forced to taste the temptation of hate, yet
I try to maintain sanity.
I
see the world in a different manner than others, I see people as they really
are and many of them are greedy soul seekers, bound to destroy what you have created.
I hold back the words I want to write; afraid they may bring me into the perils
of the moment engulfed in the thought of hating their existence. I try to
consume myself in the thought that one day I can tolerate the presence of
another, without judging their inner character, some of the ones I have known
have smothered me in flames of hell, a place I have no intentions of visiting.
I
suffer from past and present memories, sometimes I feel like an angel in disguise,
but tempted by the gifts of the world and yet the temptations that satisfy man’s
soul and body do not amaze me. I am curious,
my eyes crave to see beautiful things, and I bask in searching for creativity,
I love the smell of expensive scents, fine silks, and precious things that are
unique.
I love the essence of love, it is no mystery
to me, I am a master at love. I need to see others succeed, yet I am held in captivity,
unknown and a mystery to others. I seek peace and they seek to spread the
disease of destruction, tearing each other down, they live off challenges, games,
and defamation of character, they are bone-chilling lackadaisical, they are
charged by the adrenalin rush of toxic mentality.
I
feel trapped in a circle surrounded by those who wish to destroy my inner peace
and attempts to survive, each time I make my way to the top, I am pulled back
to the bottom. I hear words of, ridicule, lies, false promises, and limited achievement,
does man seek to destroy me, I have been placed in peril of wonder without
understanding. I feel my soul is lost, yet my faith is strong, I have hope that
one-day things will change, and a smile will be upon my face, I crave happiness
it has been a distant part of my life.
